An Update

It has been quite a while since I have posted anything so here in an update of what has been going on:

-I had a baby in December.  She is a beautiful baby girl named June.  She is precious and all around completes our family.  I can't image what life would be like without her.   Evalyn loves being a big sister and for the most part does it really well.  There is only certain times when June is chasing her around the house wanting to play with the same toy that Evalyn gets annoyed. 

My last pregnancy was hard.  I was on bed rest the last four months due to contractions.  It was  a struggle everyday.  I was constantly in a state of worry that my sweet baby girl would be born too early and she wouldn't be healthy.  I am happy to say that  I made it to full term and delivered her at 38 weeks and she was healthy and was able to come home with us.

-In February my grandpa had a bad fall in which he broke his neck and his hip.  He was in the hospital for a while, but never seemed to bounce back to his old self.  After several weeks in the hospital we honored his wishes and brought him home so he could live out his final days at home.  He died in early March and I miss him greatly.  He was always such a strong constant person in my life and it was hard to watch him get sick and decline so rapidly.

-In mid March I started experiencing some horrible pain in my side that I had never experienced before.  After two ER visits and several other tests it was determined that my gallbladder was no longer functioning properly.  April 1, 2013 I had surgery to remove my gallbladder and was relieved of the horrible pain that I was in.

-In May I started experiencing some pain in my back that wrapped around to my stomach.  Another two trips to the ER and an MRI later it was discovered that I have a herniated disc in my lower back.  It is some of the most intense pain I have ever experienced.  I did physical therapy for months and had steroid injections in my back in an effort to alleviate the pain.  Towards the end of August I was almost pain free and it felt so nice.

-About three weeks ago I was putting June down to bed and felt something pull in my lower back.  I have been in pain since.  The pain seems to come and go, but mostly it is intense and wrapping around my torso and squeezing me making it hard to breathe.  This time, I have no idea what the cause is, I just know I am in pain and I don't like it. 

-Throughout all this I have been struggling greatly with postpartum depression.  It started about two weeks after June was born and it has been a struggle.  I was having a hard time dealing with the stress and expectations of having two children and taking care of their needs as well as taking care of the house and being a good wife to Adam.  I was crumbling under the pressure of being a mom and despite seeing a Psychiatrist every two weeks and a Therapist every week we could not find the correct dosage of medication to help me.  Throw in family stress and health issues and I was a complete mess.  I ended up having a breakdown and getting some help that was much needed.

Now I am doing much better, I feel I have both feet under me.  I feel now that we have finally achieved the correct combination of medication and that has made the world of difference.  We also hired a Nanny so I would not be so overwhelmed during the day at home with the kids.  Hiring Diana has been one of the best decisions Adam and I have made for our family.  I am able to enjoy spending time with my kids and I no longer feel as if I am about to burst.

-I would not be where I am now without my family, especially my husband.  He has been there everyday for me encouraging me that I can do it.  My family has also been wonderful, they have helped me with whatever I need and their help does not go unappreciated. 

Two Years

I can't believe it has been two years.  Two years since I have seen your face or heard your voice.  Not a day has gone by where I haven't thought of you.  I miss you.  I love you. 

Day 07: Your zodiac sign and if you think it fits you

My birthday is April 28, 1984 and that would make me a Taurus. 

I do not follow astrology signs, so I have no idea. 

Sorry, I know this was a lame post.

Day 06: 30 Interesting facts about myself

1.  I have a tattoo on my ankle.
2.  I have my ears pierced three times on each ear, although I only wear earrings in one hole.
3.  I used to have my tongue, nose and belly button pierced.
4.  I have really bad eyesight, but you will rarely see my wear my glasses.
5.  My best friend is my sister in law, Marin.
6.  I only have one cousin.
7.  I prefer to stick to a schedule or a routine, surprises and spontaneity scare me.
8.  Cookies, bread, brownies, I enjoy baking them all.
9.  My mom taught me how to toilet paper people's houses.
10.  My daughter's middle name is Jana, after my mother.
11.  I got married at sunset on Sunset Beach in Honolulu Hawaii.
12.  I have never been pulled over by police.
13.  I am a huge sports fan.  I love football, tennis and baseball.
14.  I actually really enjoyed being pregnant.
15.  I rarely go to bed with dirty dishes in my sink.
16.  My daughter is the light of my life.
17.  My favorite candy bar is Milky Way.
18.  When I was pregnant I could not stand eggs, even now I have a hard time with them.. They stink!
19.  The day my mom died was the worst day of my life!
20.  I love to swim, water is my friend.
21.  I have a poem that is published in an Anthology of Young Writers.
22.  My favorite Author is Jodi Picoult.
23.  Family barbecues are my favorite thing in the summer.
24.  I am afraid of spiders.
25.  I love watching the Food Network.  I watch it for hours.
26.  I make really good spaghetti. 
27.  I have had pneumonia three times.
28.  My family is the most important thing, and I would do anything for them.
29.  I consider myself to be a good friend.  I am loyal to my friends, and would also do anything for them.
30.  My dream job would to be a baker. 

Day 05: A Time You Thought About Ending Your Own Life

I have honestly never thought of ending my own life.  I would say that the most depressed I have ever been is when I was in the midst of my horrible migraines.  I was a newlywed but could not celebrate it because I was always in such horrible pain.  It seemed that the only time I could get relief from the pain was when I was asleep, but that did not come easy because it hurt to lay my head down.  The only time I really left my house was for doctor's appointments, and all I was hearing from doctors was that there is nothing else that can be done.  That was without a doubt the lowest time in my life.

Day 04: Your views on religion

I was not raised into one particular religion.  I think that religion and spirituality is something that is found within you, not in a church.

Day 03: Your View on Drugs and Alcohol

Drugs:  Smoked pot once, not a big fan.  Don't have any desire to experience any others.

Alcohol:  I enjoy having a drink once in a while, however I find that when I do drink it is in social situations.